(an unfinished post outline)

-last institute classes for the semester this week--what wonderful classes and teachers!! taught with hope, so grateful for them

Broken Record

Alright, so it is Monday! Monday night = Family Home Evening Night! So I am headed to my church to join in happy social activities (I think that night was a movie night). All's well, it is dark (yes it gets dark by like 6pm in the winter times-crazy I know) and I am driving along the highway blasting whatever classical tunes happened to be on the radio. I hum along absent-mindedly as my brain goes on auto-pilot--I have driven this route a few hundred times over the past couple years.

Hum, hummmm, humming....blin-ker, blin-ker, blin-ker (to the beat), humm, glance at the pretty horses, humm-new song, watch the cars go by, see sneaky police car catching speeders in the usual spot-smile-check spedometer even though I wasn't speeding in the first place, hummmm, notice roadkill got picked up, humhum ...blueredblueredblue... hmmuuh?

I snap out of my auto-pilot zone, something is different. Blueredblue...oh. I blink in suprise then I pull over, turn off my car and wait. A nice officer walks cautiously up to my car (I guess I shouldn't have left my window all the way down?) and politely informs me that I had a headlight out. I did? I knew it was on its deathbed but I didn't know the grave was so close. I apologized and thanked the officer for letting me know, my words sort of stammering around...I felt a little like a goldfish just opening and closing its mouth with a deer-in-the-headlights look. The officer was very kind and didn't give me a ticket, just let me on my way. I was very grateful.

On my way back home from the church it was quite a bit darker, and I was quite a bit more paranoid of getting pulled over again because of my now known headlight violation. I stucked in my courage and headed back the way I came. I got closer to my halfway-home point (where I got pulled over) being even more cautious of speed limits than normal. I passed the place where I was stopped a few hours earlier. Maybe a quarter mile later I saw another hidden police car veer out into traffic a few cars behind me. It didn't have its lights flashing-yet-but I had a feeling it was coming for me. I slowed down to let him catch up as he tried to manuver around the stubborn cars between us. I sighed as he got closer and blueredblueredbluered flashed in my mirrors, pulled over and waited as before. The officer got out of his car and got about halfway to my window, paused, then, "I'm really not stalking you...it's just a slow night." I laughed as he explained that he had just been sitting and pulling over burnt out headlights and we exchanged farewell's of "have a good night" and "drive safe"'s and went out ways again. I needed a smile that night and that is what I got. Needless to say I was less paranoid of getting pulled over the rest of the way home.

I had never been pulled over before, then I got pulled over twice in the space of a few hours! There goes my life goal of being able to go into a criminal background check with a clean slate. At least now I can say that my slate has character now. It is a happy character at that. How many people can say that being pulled over brightened their day?

Oh Snap!

Today was just one of those days. You know. When you've been under a little bit of stress for a while and haven't done much other than homework and attending classes. I think a person's psyche can only handle so much of that, snapping is inevitable. I snapped today in band. Someone did something goofy that only warranted a chuckle at most. My psyche snapped. I couldn't stop laughing no matter how I tried (when I would stop for a second, my awesome bass clarinet friend would still be laughing and get me laughing again, then I would get her laughing again...what a vicious cycle.). I must have been on the verge of turning purple for trying to keep my incessant giggling silent I think it must be yet another sign of my need for a padded room.

I remember another inconvenient time that I snapped. I was in a spiritual Sunday School-Relief Society lesson not terribly long after a slue of AP tests and school finals and a sweet sweet lady's tummy rumbled and my tummy squealed in answer, and my mother's and a couple other lady's tummies grumbled and squeaked in reply. It was like a gastrointestinal choir. Something inside my mind snapped, I tried my hardest to stop laughing, but I ended up having to get up and leave the room. I was sitting on the first or second row.

I am glad that Bass Clarinet parts tend to have more rests because it took me a while, all of my focusing abilities, and lots of tongue biting to regain any semblance of composure.

Someone's Grandpa

So, I have finished up my second week of school. Huzzah! I am so grateful for all of the incredible opportunities that come my way. I have a pretty homework heavy set of credit hours this semester and it has kept me pretty busy from writing papers, revising papers, memorizing music, playing music, learning new instruments (especially when I get a ligature...), chemistry labs (two already!), lab reports, reading Thoreau in mad frenzies, extra anatomy SI sessions, a marching band...er football game already, uniform committee organization/help, lots of fun and exciting things...



Speaking of exciting things, my radiator in my car even decided to asplode one morning while I drove in circles parking-spot hunting; for which I am grateful because it helped me re-realize how many extremely kind, considerate, and unselfish people there are all around me. The story is off topic but I wish to share anyway because it is happy and makes me feel happy and loved.

As afore-stated I was driving around a couple of parking lots last Wednesday morning (last week, not two days ago Wednesday), which is pretty much futile due to the fact that no one can ever find any parking after say 8:30am on Wednesday mornings anywhere where you need them to be, and was driving my circles over and over through "my" lots waiting patiently for an opening somewhere. I had my windows down (my car's AC) and thought I could smell something strange but couldn't put my finger on it so it slipped my mind, or just waited in a secluded back corner of my mind for its number to be called again.

At one point I glanced down at my gauges/various -ometers and saw that my engine temperature was just starting to get above normal. Nothing to be alarmed about yet, but I decided to exit the packed parking lot I was about halfway through at the time and make my way a few blocks to the Dee Events Center (which has a huge parking lot) and park my car to let it cool down a while. Not two seconds had passed after I had completed my thought when white billowy clouds of steam started streaming, then gushing from under my hood. I blinked, my mind said "Oh my...," and I stopped and turned off the car. In the middle of the driving lane of the lot. I popped my hood and got out to survey my poor car and found that there was too much hot HOT steam to try opening my hood and that there was lovely fluid creating a pond-lake under my car and running down the parking lot. I blinked again with my hands on my hips and my mind said, "Oooooh my. Definitely not a good sign."

I must have had quite the bewildered/lost/utterly flabbergasted look on my face (and I know that I was being watched over carefully and lovingly) because not 45 seconds had passed and one kind lady came to my aid, calling and asking advice of her husband (while I stood by (my hands still on my hips just watching the pond under my car grow...sort of speechless like) like I had just been hit heartily in the head with a frozen trout....as dazed as I would have been concussed). Then another person, a man who worked at a nearby building came by to help, and a couple whose car was parked just next to mine who left and they all helped me push my car back and into their spot so it wasn't in the driving lane. I was so very grateful to all of them and was overwhelmed with the knowledge that I could not deny that I was loved and known and being cared about and watched over.

The man who worked at a nearby building ended up helping me fill up my radiator with water (mainly from the pile of water bottles that gathered in my car), followed me to the car shop and drove me back to campus (I made it to my next class on time even!). What a sweet sweet person! I thanked him a hundred times. He even offered a ride back to the car shop if I needed it, but I told him I would be in class until that evening and thanked him again.

I did have to get a new radiator and belt but I am so grateful for the experience as a bit of awakening to me on how much my Heavenly Father does know me and love me personally. I was completely at a loss on what to do and He sent some of the kindest people my way. It filled me with gratitude and I hope that I can be a helping tool for my Heavenly Father and gain more of that kind of charity and find places to serve.




Back to topic. Wait, I haven't really introduced my topic as of yet. Hmmm. Onto the next topic then! The topic I meant to write about! Yay! Okay, getting on with it.

I have been thinking of doing a Pre-Pharmacy major (though I would very much love to do music as well) and have been taking those related courses. I am taking Human Anatomy as one of such courses this semester and with that class comes a lab. I took a medical terminology class and absolutely loved it and found it to be quite a neat class. Anatomy and Physiology (possibly a little more on the latter) seem to just be fascinating and I am excited for them. I am excited and grateful for our extraordinary labs as well, just trying to get over the initial shock factor of the nature of it.

We are very lucky to be able to have the use of human cadavers to learn from. My professor told of how he went to very large universities and they only had rubber models in their labs to learn from. We are indeed very blessed to have such an honor and opportunity. I had to keep telling myself that until I finally believed it after we went over the safety precautions about the fumes and having the utmost respect for the cadavers. For a long while (even a little now still) I just didn't know what to think about it; right, wrong, fear, apprehension, dread, curiosity, guilt, discomfort, overwhelming, ignorance, questioning, excitement, awkwardness, interest, disgust, respect, gratitude, stress. So many differing and conflicting feelings, but I have come out so far with an overriding knowledge that this is indeed an incredible blessing and learning experience.

My first lab class was this morning and mostly all we did was go over the terms from the manual and "meet" our cadaver. I love our instructors for their upbeat attitudes and calming, happy countenances. As much as you can try to prepare yourself for such an experience, the initial shock of actually being there and experiencing things will always remain. As our lab instructor got ready to introduce us to our cadaver she reminded us about keeping the utmost respect and that our cadaver was someone's grandpa.

I am sure it will take sometime for me to get over the emotional and psychological shocks of this lab work, but I must learn to separate that part of me and allow myself to use this incredible opportunity to learn all that I can and be grateful for someone's grandpa and his family who allowed me to learn so much from his gift.


(p.s. I have 7 back-post drafts that I am still working on... they will be coming soon!)

Back to School and such (quite the pathetic draft of a post...if I say so myself. vey unfinished)

So I fell a little behind again on updating my lovely blog. I did end up getting a temporary job as an Office Clerk at the AG's office where I bates stamped a few thousand documents

Unfinished....a taste of what might be a Sentimental mood (draft again)

My heart resides in dreams
sprung from hopes of yesteryear
walls built up from reality
until one Brave hope draws near

Joyous dances in moonshine's beam
through meadows of downy glee
freedom and clarity in starlight's gleam
Courage's arms warm about me there

Cold Morning slaps my face
sharp sight dispels my soft Vision
yet twinkling smiles a' frolic
in remembrance of that place

What to linger in Dreams embrace
ne'er to wake in lost love's tears
alas Dawn chases always for Moon
left to love across a crowded space

Silver and Gold (An unfinished draft...someday I may finish it...my outline included at the end)

We adopted a cat who was abandoned by a neighbor who moved away a number of years ago. My brother decided to name her Silver, why 'Silver' I still don't know. She is quite a pretty cat: long fur, calico, and the cutest huge white paws. She is also one of the more affectionate cats you'd meet, she wasn't very fond of other cats, but she just erupted into a thunderstorm of purring if you just glanced her way. She loves attention. She knows her name and meows back anytime you talk to her. She adopted an empty flower pot to sleep among the flowers and a friend of mine called her her little Silver Flower and the name always stuck in my mind.

As she grew older she became predominantly an outside cat except for cooler winters and lonely nights. She grew older again and needed more help upkeeping her masses of fur, I brushed her as often as I could, she melted at my attentions as I tried to help her feel pretty again. Time went on, she got older, her health started on a downhill. We made her a special bed when she had a lonely night and wanted to sleep inside. She remained my Silver Flower and spent most of her time sleeping in her flower pot amongst the flowers. She went missing from her favorite places and I found her not long after, gone quietly away to pass on. She now sleeps amongst flowers more beautiful than any on this earth and never has to worry about tangles in her fur or feeling lonely, never again to have ill health. I imagine her still as my Silver Flower, napping away in her own special flower pot in the clouds.

A Saturday not long before, I was cleaning/practicing and taking the occasional peek at "Little Mama" my little bird friend watching over her baby eggs. About a half hour had gone by since I had last peeked out the window, I heard a thump outside near the front porch and went to investigate. When I opened the door I saw the wreath that my little finches had nested on had fallen to the ground. I looked around and when I saw no culprit I picked it up and checked the nest. One, two, three, four...all the tiny blue speckled eggs were safe and sound. Relieved, I carefully placed the wreath back up on its nail and went inside to the window and waited for Little Mama to return. She did, hopped around a bit and settled in after giving me a wary and suspicious look. I told her she needn't worry about me, that I would help her protect her nest and her babies. I left the window and my little friend and returned to my Saturday activities.

An hour or two later I heard another thump. I must have been busy with practicing or something because it took a little while for the 'thump''s meaning to process in my mind. When it finally clicked I went out to check on the little nest, first through the window. The wreath had again fallen. I went out and hurriedly picked it up for examination. The nest was empty. I looked all over the porch for the tiny speckled eggs. The porch was clean. I looked again in the nest hoping beyond hope that they might have magically returned to their place. It was empty. I could see my little friend sitting in the nearby tree chiding me so I reluctantly put the wreath back up with its empty nest. I looked around again and saw no sign of the sweet little eggs anywhere. I went back inside and to the window. Little Mama flew back to her nest and my heart broke as she hopped around and cocked her head at all angles looking for her soon-to-be-babies. She looked at me again, but this time almost seeming confused and questioning. I had failed her, I took too long to save the wreath, her nest, and her babies from whatever had desecrated it. She flew off chirping and returned a few minutes later with Little Papa, who I had never seen before then. They both took turns hopping around their empty nest, cocking their heads every which way, chirping to each other, sitting where their eggs should have been only to hop back up in despair. My heart broke again as they would sit in their empty nest for a few minutes longer, searching a few minutes longer, fly back to their tree or the roof and come back chirping, looking sadly to me and each other and their empty nest. I couldn't help but feel that I might have been able to save their babies if only I had come faster, if only I had watched longer, if only... After a couple hours of searching and flying from tree to tree to roof to nest to tree they went away and I never saw them return to the nest.

Weeks later these stories and the memories of other sad times all came back to me as a good sized spider gave me a fright. I am usually not bothered by the creepy crawly bugs much, but this time I couldn't bring myself the courage to even catch it and set it free outside.

finding Silver....finding charly...heart broken little mamma...jumping spider (couldn't smash, innocent, prayed to go away, ...break down... tofu not catch it...let it get out of sight......... found more info=all better (blessed with comfort!)) always comforted, so grateful

Job Safari - Cause Hunting Isn't My Thing

So it is summah time, and the weather is high, la da da da da, do de da dea doy...
Nevermind, you probably don't know that song, and I don't know the rest of the words anywho. :)

Anyway, it is summertime, well May time, and I am once again job searching! Oh the excitement! I was thinking about getting trained and being a phlebotomist, but there doesn't seem to be any openings at the moment.

Then I was thinking about being a teller at a bank/credit union (because one of my brothers is one and it seems like a good, fun job), or being a Pharmacy Tech somewhere (but of course I would need to first get trained/certified as one), or maybe working at a bookstore (because I quite enjoy books), or at a greenhouse/nursery (I love plants and being outside for a job would be awesome), or a chocolate/candy shop (...no reason needed), or one of the popular fruit smoothie franchises, or one of the widespread bread bakeries.....

Those are the ones on my mind at the moment. I would love to work any of these jobs (as well as a number others I am sure), but me being my indecisive and over-analyzing self.... We can just say that it is difficult.

I will keep you updated.

And yes, that is just a random picture. :)

A Little Catsup with my Fried Taters

-ice skating class!
-phone still works!
-played first part and not kicked out of band!
-rainrainrain, snowsnowsnow, beesbeesweedingbees, little Mama!
-it's like Christmas!! ...many times per week

So that is what the draft of this post looked like, I will try to piece together what exactly I was thinking, but as to fitting the title in....I am not too sure where that one came from.


-ice skating class!
I took an Ice Skating class at the Ice sheet on my campus this last semester and I loved it! We had an amazing teacher who was not only a fantastic skater but just one of those who is very talented in teaching what he knows and helping others to improve. I had a blast learning new techniques and "basic" skills.


As part of our grade we had to buy a public skate punch pass to go and practice what we learned outside of class time. Some of the times I went in the evenings when all of the dating/scouting/church/party/family groups of people swarmed the rink and you had just enough room to follow the mob counter-clockwise around the rink and around and around again. Other times I would go during the day (if my band class was canceled or something) and there would only be a handful of people there, most of them practicing for an upcoming competition or show or something I would imagine. I was in awe at their expertise in comparison to my own "basic" skills. I was always excited to practice the new things I had learned in class, but sometimes my shaky three-turns looked a little silly against another fellow practicer's beautiful lay-back spin; or my bruising crash landing after attempting a couple lunges would redden my face more than my purple knees as I would watch them practice a toe-loop or lutz. I did feel a little silly practicing with those whose talents were far more worked and perfected than mine but I enjoyed every minute of it. I laughed at myself and watched others in wonder. I gained a whole new appreciation for skaters of all kinds (hockey, figure, speed,..) and my love for skating only grew.


-phone still works!
As for my poor phone. I have had my phone for a good while cell-phone-wise am I am very grateful to have one. I am also grateful to have a nice warm jacket, also one that I have had for a long while (a longer while than that of my phone). My poor jacket's pockets are starting to come unstitched a little...well okay, the one pocket only has three of the three and a half sides still stitched in place (I haven't quite gotten around to fixing it, but it's on the to-do list).

I was doing some cleaning not too long ago and wearing said jacket with my phone in the aforementioned pocket of that jacket. I was cleaning the bathroom and had cleaned the vanity, the mirrors, and scrubbed the toilet 'til it sparkled nicely. I was working on the floors and bent over to pick something up off the floor and heard a dreadful splash near my head. I glanced over and lo! My poor phone slid out of my broken pocket into my glittering-clean toilet! NO!! How many times had I told my phone to fight its urges and desires to test its imaginary wings and fly to freedom?? Well, none, but it should have known better than to try its hand at swimming. Phones don't come installed with floaties and therefore should never be trusted in a lifeguarding post--they sink like an anvil.

I fished my phone out (with only a little hesitation...I had just cleaned the toilet!!), shook it violently until my arms were sore to get as much water out as I could, and let it open to dry overnight. Luckily I was blessed to have not damaged it too much for in the morning when I put the battery back in and turned it on it worked! Happy day when phones get brought back from near drowning experiences!! It has been slightly more temperamental since and I think I might have to get a new phone sometime soon, but hooray for still having a working phone! I now try to keep things in more secure pockets.


-played first part and not kicked out of band!
Well, that one speaks for itself I think. My band director decided last semester to put me on first-solo part in our Symphonic Band with a great solo clarinet player (so we were both covering the parts). He said he wanted to give me the opportunity, and I said I am happy to play any part he gives me. Oh my. I had never played solo-solos in a concert before! It was tons of fun and I enjoyed it greatly. We played all of Johan DeMeij's Lord of the Rings Symphony and a handful of other fun pieces and I wasn't booed off the stage for my one or two little solos. YAY! I had great fun.


-rainrainrain, snowsnowsnow, beesbeesweedingbees, little Mama!
Hmmmm. Oh yeah. So it was quiet an interesting spring this year. I live in a desert so one might think it would often be quite dry and warm by end of April-May-ish. Not so much. I don't think we have had many whole weeks where we have gone without a rainstorm or two. One day it was sunny and very much warm and the next day or two it then cooled forty degrees and rained and snowed on the Spring Daffodils! It even snowed on the first of May! It seems like we have had a good batch of rainstorms this spring season, and I love it!! I love the rain, I love the snow, I love the sunshine, ...I love it all!!


So, one of those warmer days I was weeding. Pulling out dandelions and grass and such out of the garden. There was one particularly thick bunch of dandelions which I noticed must have been quite the party place for all the honeybees around. I avoided weeding around their corner, but then had the urge to go get my camera and play. I had much fun...


My brother also discovered a little bird had made its nest atop a wreath on their front porch, every time anyone would go out the front door the poor little bird would fly off and chide us in her sweet, sing-song voice from a nearby tree and almost make us jump out of our shoes in surprise. A few times I even reminded myself before I went out that the bird was there and would surprise me when I opened the door, but still, every time, I jumped. I looked one day in her nest and found she had four little speckled eggs! I took up watching her from the kitchen window that looks on the front porch. I looked her up on bird watching sites and found that she was a sweet little house finch. I called her Little Mama and we became friends (at least from my side) and I think sometimes she trusted me enough to let me sit out on the porch to read when the sun was out...if I stayed still for the most part.


-it's like Christmas!! ...many times per week
Or maybe its just like Christmas everyday! Whenever someone gets something cool in the mail (anything besides mailers and bills and such), gets something fun from the store, finds something they lost, just has a happy day, does something fun, gets something cleaned (like a car or room or pet), or for no reason at all except for being happy...."It's like Christmas!" My brother and sister more or less told me that it is apparently Christmas everyday according to me. Fine by me! Happy day!!

Onomatopoeia!!

My brother told me that when I tell him stories my regular use of onomatopoeias makes him laugh. I hadn't noticed my use of such exciting language until he mentioned it which in turn made me laugh.

After church one Sunday (it had been sunny for a few days and somewhat warm for winter) I was happily surprised to find an inch or two of slush snow to scrape off my car. I loved it. It was the kind of slush that makes glorious schlopping sounds when you step in it and just solid enough not to get one's feet terribly wet when trekking across parking lots. I successfully cleared my car and went on my way out of the parking lot as the sky half-heartedly rain-hailed.

I got to the road in front of my church and found that the roads too were wet and delightfully slushy so I drove slowly towards the hill I had to venture down to be on my way home. A couple of cars came up the hill headed the the other direction and I paid them no real heed until they were even with me. They were driving quite a bit faster than I was and slush was spraying out from their tires...."SLUSH!" Most of my windshield was covered in the opaque sloppy mess and just the noise it made when it hit nearly had me jump out of my shoes. Luckily my windshield wipers were already on and wiped it away, and by the time it had and when my shoes recovered from being jumped out of, I couldn't help but laugh. The familiar image of someone waiting under umbrella at a bus stop in the rain only to be splashed unsuspectingly by a passing car (in the movies often by a marvelously huge tidal wave of a splash) and left standing, dripping wet, umbrella blown uselessly inside-out by the blow...

I continued on my way home in the on-off rain-snow. About the halfway mark it started snowing full on and the snowflakes kept growing and growing. At their peak, they were the biggest snowflakes I had ever seen in my life and you could hear their soft "plump" when they hit my windshield and left palm sized splotches of snowflake (huge cookie size is the way I explained it at the time). I was in awe and grinning like a goon the whole time. I love snowflakes. I wanted to turn back around and just pull over on the side of the highway to just watch, but my family dinner called to my tummy and that was still another hours drive away after I got home. I left my snowflakes as I turned the corner onto another highway and within two minutes it had stopped snowing and I believe the sun even came out before it started raining again.

I told my brother my story excitedly while on our way to said family dinner (with probably a few more onomatopoeias than I can remember now) and we laughed. I had never before noticed I made such good use of such exciting language until it was pointed out. We then laughed about how "abbreviation" is such a long word, and asked why onomatopoeia isn't its namesake. I then decided is should be, so, onomatopoeia became an onomatopoeia. And there was much onomatopoeia-ing.

Until next time, consider yourself thoroughly onomatopoeiaed.